12 Signs You're in a Healthy Relationship

Aug 18, 2023

12 Signs You're in a Healthy Relationship

Today, you learn the signs you’re in a healthy relationship with your boyfriend, girlfriend, or other gendered partner. If you’re currently in an unhealthy or toxic relationship and you need to get out, this may help you understand those signs too.

Sources:
Review of Research on Romantic Relationships
https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/…

Psychology of a Happy Couple
https://www.apa.org/helpcenter/health…

Predicting Relationship Dissatisfaction
https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/…

Psychological Strategies to Improve Relationship Quality
https://www.apa.org/helpcenter/marriage

Why Do Happy Relationships End in Separation?
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/2…

Marital Conflict Behaviors and Implications for Divorce
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/arti…

Tips for Relationship Health
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/bl…

How to Strengthen Relationships
https://www.health.harvard.edu/health…

The Science of Healthy Relationships
https://time.com/5321262/science-behi…

Music: “Ukulele” from Bensound.com

Thanks to Tristan Reed (writing), Troy W. Hudson (VO) for helping to create this video!

Content

0.03 -> hey everyone and welcome to top think today we're going to learn about 12 signs of a

10.8 -> healthy relationship now let's begin number one zero reaction anxiety do you ever hold something

19.29 -> back because you're worried about how your partner is going to react in your normal everyday life you

24.57 -> spend so much time monitoring your behavior you stop acting like yourself and cater to the people

30.39 -> around you but your relationship should be a safe space somewhere you can take off your filter where

36.87 -> you can express anything you want to express without being scared or embarrassed if you have

42.6 -> zero reaction anxiety it means you trust your partner to embrace who you are in a long-term

48.42 -> relationship very few things are more important than that number two healthy disagreements no one

56.91 -> expects you to agree on everything people often imagine healthy relationships as this perfect

62.55 -> utopia where the two of you are in sync 24/7 you see eye-to-eye on every decision you complete

69.27 -> each other sentences your visions of the future couldn't be more similar but that's not what a

75.12 -> healthy and positive relationship really looks like the truth is there will be disagreements

80.94 -> there will be times when you argue times when you have trouble understanding the other person's

86.4 -> point of view and hey that's okay in fact it's healthy for partners to butt heads every once

92.34 -> in a while a disagreement often means that you're actively trying to find a compromise that benefits

98.64 -> the both of you you see the happiest relationships aren't dominated by a single partner one person's

105.45 -> opinions shouldn't completely overshadow the others that really defeats the purpose of being

111.09 -> in a relationship relationships should be about sharing your life not finding someone else's life

117.18 -> to control this is a trap that many young couples fall into one person wants to keep their partner

124.02 -> happy so they pretend that their own opinions aren't important but this is a recipe for disaster

130.66 -> think you're doing your partner a favor but they want you to express yourself even if your opinions

136.09 -> don't line up with theirs just make sure that you're not disagreeing all the time if you're

141.55 -> arguing constantly then there's probably a deeper problem with the relationship as a whole the same

147.49 -> rule actually applies to your friendships having a few disagreements is healthy but too many means

153.58 -> your relationship might need some work number three division of space every strong relationship

162.46 -> should have two things space and boundaries even though the two of you like being together well you

168.58 -> need time to exist as individuals without those limitations many people start to feel suffocated

174.76 -> they become codependent on their partners because they forget who they are outside of the

180.88 -> relationship creating physical space is a great way to reclaim that feeling of Independence when

187.87 -> you're separated from your partner you have the freedom to focus on what you want to do you might

193.3 -> for example take that time to reconnect with the other important people in your life like friends

198.31 -> and family because a relationship no matter how serious it is shouldn't consume your individuality

204.82 -> you should still have your own interests your own ambitions and your own social bonds the emotional

211.93 -> boundaries exist for the same reason in a healthy relationship you need to respect your partner's

217.48 -> freedom to feel and make choices on their own the two of you might think alike but you shouldn't act

223.33 -> like you have one brain hey it's okay for you to like one thing while your partner likes another

228.79 -> you should make an effort to understand each other's interests but boundaries are a healthy

234.28 -> way of maintaining your individuality number four displacing frustration do you feel like you have

243.04 -> to be right all the time do you fight your partner on every little thing these are both signs of an

248.92 -> unhealthy relationship now as much as you want to argue that need to be right is much less important

255.04 -> than your partner's feelings both of you should be willing to give in if it's in the best interest

260.08 -> of your relationship now I'm not saying that you can't be frustrated with your partner that's just

266.05 -> not possible even the most loving relationships create their fair share of negativity but the

271.72 -> difference is that people in healthy relationships learn how to manage their frustration instead of

277.57 -> berating or yelling at their partner they blow off steam by working exercising or venting to

282.94 -> their friends most of the time this helps them realize one of two things either that this is

288.61 -> something important they should calmly talk to their partner about or that being rights

292.84 -> well it really isn't worth it number 5 avoiding withdrawal one of the most destructive moments

301.45 -> in a relationship is when one partner begins to pull away they become emotionally distant they

307.45 -> might not seem enthusiastic about spending time with you this kind of withdrawal can mean a few

313.03 -> different things so let's highlight the worst case scenario when your partner is constantly

319.21 -> acting distant they may not be willing to put in the effort anymore they're choosing to step back

324.52 -> and let things fall apart now of course this ambivalence doesn't just pop up out of nowhere

330.07 -> persistent withdrawal usually stems from feelings of neglect anger or irritation no matter where it

337.18 -> comes from withdrawal is a huge red flag in a healthy relationship each partner actively

343.81 -> works to close that distance they don't withdraw into themselves they encourage each other to be

349.78 -> open and expressive so if you notice your partner pulling away give them a chance to tell you why

356.05 -> number six conflict kindness no matter how heated things get healthy couples are always kind to one

365.65 -> another they definitely get angry and frustrated like everyone else but they won't resort to

371.08 -> insults or personal attacks you'll never hear them tear their partner down just to get their point

376.78 -> across one of the keys to a healthy relationship is to show kindness throughout conflict as strange

383.74 -> as it sounds you can argue with someone while still making it clear that you care about how

389.11 -> they feel number seven diverse experiences many couples fall into the same trap they get bored

397.89 -> because they forget how to be spontaneous it's easy in the early stages of a relationship to do

403.92 -> new and exciting things together but over time you'll settle into a comfortable routine you'll

409.47 -> visit the same places you'll spend time with the same people it seems like smooth sailing

414.9 -> but this constancy is unhealthy in the long run healthy couples need spontaneity to keep their

421.17 -> relationship from getting stale it's common for two people to break up simply because they got

426.69 -> tired of each other you might slowly but surely forget why you fell for your partner in the first

432.54 -> place the excitement of a new experience can remind you of why you're still with them you

438.27 -> can rediscover how much fun the two of you have together and if your relationship is starting to

443.28 -> feel like another part of your routine then those moments are priceless number eight consistent

451.23 -> encouragement you should always be able to rely on a close friend or romantic partner for support

457.77 -> not just when you're doing something they want you to do they should encourage you anytime you found

463.68 -> something you care about because it matters to you it should also matter to them many partners try to

470.4 -> mold their significant other into the person they want them to be they end up falling more

475.83 -> in love with the idea of someone than the actual person healthy friendships and couples don't try

482.22 -> to control each other's lives they know that their role is to provide you with encouragement and not

488.46 -> to make your decisions for you number nine open avenues if you want to improve your relationship

496.32 -> set aside time to check in with your partner in one way or another you should be regularly asking

502.02 -> them how they feel about the relationship are they happy are their needs being met is there anything

507.84 -> you can do better the goal is to establish a time when you both can get things off your chest that

514.65 -> way neither of you has to bottle up any negative emotions but it's critical that you're receptive

520.65 -> to what their concerns are your partner needs to you'll like they can be genuine and honest with

526.38 -> you otherwise these open avenues will create more conflict than they'll resolve number 10 accepting

534.9 -> past mistakes you can't control your past and neither can your partner that's why in a healthy

541.71 -> relationship you shouldn't hold your partner's past mistakes against them as frustrating as

547.47 -> they are those mistakes aren't going to disappear no matter how guilty you make them feel the most

553.83 -> your partner can do is apologize and keep history from repeating itself that means they're depending

559.83 -> on you to forgive and forget by holding a grudge you're telling them that they haven't earned your

566.79 -> trust if that really is the case then you may need to reconsider your entire relationship number 11

574.86 -> recognizing recurring conflicts the you and your partner have the same fights over and over again

581.43 -> many unhealthy couples will butt heads over one or two issues for years when you fight about

587.37 -> anything long enough it drives a wedge between you the subject creates so much frustration and

593.67 -> contempt that it becomes almost impossible to view your partner in a positive light healthy couples

600.24 -> know that fighting over the same issues isn't productive so they stop fighting and hone in on

605.73 -> the real root of the problem they figure out why they can't get past this obstacle and then come up

611.79 -> with a compromise that satisfies them both number 12 realistic expectations not every relationship

620.82 -> becomes a lifelong commitment some couples have major issues that just can't be resolved no matter

627.18 -> how good their communication is you might want to live in different places or maybe you live

632.97 -> very distinct lifestyles these differences might trigger the end of your relationship but you're

638.73 -> not doing yourself any favors by pretending that they just don't exist hey thank you for

644.55 -> watching top think and be sure to subscribe because more incredible content is on the way

Source: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iPSH7PDEqA8